Relationships, Characteristics and Attitudes Towards Life

Most personalities from Byers-Briggs 16 personality types either get along, are an ideal match, have good chances together, or probability that their relationship can still work. However, there are some exceptional types that are almost unimaginable together without conflicts and confrontation. That’s exactly the case with ISTJ and INFJ who actually dislike each other. In this article, we will review ISTJ vs INFJ, compare their main values and characteristics and see what they look like in relationships.

Both ISTJ and INFJ are introverted (I) and judging (J) types. However, ISTJ is a Sensing (S) and Thinking type, while INFJ is Intuitive (N) and Feeling (F). Therefore, there are tons of subjects they just can’t agree about. One of the most obvious things they obviously think about each other is that ISTJs believe that INFJs are kind of strange people and focus too much on their emotions. On the contrary, INFJs find ISTJs’ rational thinking annoying. 

ISTJ – Introversion | Sensing | Thinking | Judging

If you are looking for a personality type that is over-organized and can’t live without order in any aspect of life, then you should think about interacting with ISTJs. These people are taking care of every single detail in their everyday lives and as a result, they are called the Inspectors. Family, friends, and traditions are some of the most important values for them. They can’t imagine a day without following traditions, it just makes them feel anxious and disoriented which is the worst feeling for ISTJs. 

The Inspectors are honest and direct people. They hate saying things behind someone’s back and prefer to be rejected for what they said. The promise means everything to ISTJs and therefore, you can completely rely on these people. One thing that people usually dislike about ISTJs is that they are very stubborn. They never accept being wrong, even when it’s obvious. 


INFJ – Introversion | Intuition | Feeling | Judging

The Advocates, as INFJs are frequently referred to as, are some of the most creative and open-minded people from MBTI. They are idealists but unlike other people who only dream about the perfect future, INFJs can turn their ideas into action and realize plans. This means nothing more than that INFJ is an energetic personality type and people with this personality are capable of doing what they say. INFJs are very rare, with only 1 to 3% of the population. Therefore, if you’re INFJ, you’re among the lucky few.

Their realistic nature doesn’t mean that they don’t dream about the future, though. They usually aim to change the world for good but are aware of both good and bad things that happen around them. They also understand their strengths and weaknesses very well and constantly work on improving themselves as individuals. 

Compatibility of ISTJ and INFJ – Why Don’t They Get Along?

Even though ISTJ and INFJ share two personality traits, it seems like having Introversion (I) and Judging (J) in common isn’t enough for building a steady and healthy relationship. It’s true that neither ISTJs nor INFJs likes to be at the center of attention, interacting with others is not a comfortable situation for either of them and both of them try to stay out of the spotlight, they have so many differences in the way of thinking that it’s almost impossible for these two to be together.

The majority of ISTJ and INFJ can’t date. The reason is that they don’t share primary cognitive functions. As a result, miscommunication is very common among these two and often they just can’t understand each others’ motives. Paradoxically though, these people tend to be attracted to each other, both physically and emotionally. That’s why they quickly fell in love but as practice shows, most relationships between ISTJs and INFJs just can’t work, especially in the long term. However, over time, they can learn about each others’ intentions and preferences and understand one another better. 

ISTJ vs INFJ – Comparison of Personality Types

Comparison of ISTJ vs INFJ is very interesting due to the fact that these personality types share some personality traits but still can’t get along. While they have the same attitude towards social relationships, they have different visions about romance and leadership. Let’s compare the values of ISTJ and INFJ, discuss their leadership styles and see what they think about romance. 


ISTJ – Loyalty and traditions

Since ISTJs are very traditional people, it’s not a big surprise that following old principles that already exist in their community is very important for them. Also, ISTJs are very loyal people. They are extremely committed partners and can’t imagine their partners with somebody else. Besides, they are competent, responsible, and caring. ISTJs believe that everybody should think and act in the way they do. 

INFJ – Authenticity and harmony

ISTJs look for insights into every area of life. They are focused on the future but consider the present and past as well to create perfect harmony. Also, they value authenticity and desire to stand out with their unique work. However, they just like it as an idea and in reality, INFJs hate to be at the center of attention, due to a lack of confidence. They value deep discussions and don’t bother thinking about trivial things. 


ISTJs In Love

ISTJs are very loyal lovers. They don’t fall in love quickly but when they do, they dedicate themselves to the relationship and try to make their partners feel appreciated. Being in love with ISTJs means that your relationship will be far from typical romantic scenarios. Although ISTJs are not considered as romantic people, actually they are but in their own way. They are reliable partners to whom commitment means everything.

INFJs In Love

INFJs are passionate lovers but they don’t fall in love quickly, mainly because of being afraid of disappointment. They prefer long-lasting, deep relationships and not just dating somebody casually. They usually need time before they completely open up to partners. Due to the intense emotions, they consider being in a relationship as one of the most serious periods of their life. 


ISTJ – Transactional Leader

ISTJs are very responsible leaders, committed to the world and the team. Since they value order and structure in the workplace, they are considered transactional leaders. They have clear communication with the team, explaining everything they are confused about and inspiring them with innovative ideas. 

INFJ – Motivational Leader

INFJs enjoy sharing their experience and giving advice to the members of the team. Even if things don’t go so well. They try to motivate the workers and explain that with enough dedication and effort, they can achieve goals. They usually lead the team quietly but have great power actually. 

All in All

To sum up, it’s clear that ISTJs and INFJs don’t usually get along. Although they are easily attracted to each other, the chances are low that they will fall in love and end up in a long-term relationship. While discussing ISTJ vs INFJ, you p[obably realized that they have different attitudes towards life and love but still, every person is different and there have been cases of successful relationships between these two.