Do you wonder if ESTJs and ESTPs get along in relationships? Then you’re at the right place! People often use compatibility charts in order to determine which MBTI type is compatible with their personality. However, practice proves that those simple charts aren’t enough for getting thorough information about the details of relationships. 

For instance, ESTJs and ESTPs are considered as a one-sided match but actually, their relationship works perfectly well most of the time. The reason is that these two personality types have a lot in common. They share three major personality traits (Extraversion, Sensing, & Thinking) which can be one of the reasons why they have similar attitudes about many things. 

Specifically, both ESTJs and ESTPs base the decisions on past experience and tend to overthink before they finally decide that whatever they do is right. However, ESTJ is a Judging (J) personality and enjoys order while ESTP is Perceiving (P) and tends to be flexible. In this article, we will compare the key characteristics of ESTJ vs ESTP and see what they look like in relationships. 


ESTJ: The Director

Bringing order and structure to all the situations of everyday life is what ESTJs usually do. They are ambitious people, focused on achieving their goals and getting what they desire. ESTJs are completely rational and never pay attention to anyone’s emotions. Even more, they don’t care about their own feelings and behave according to what they planned in advance. People with this personality type dislike changes and feel stressed whenever something doesn’t happen in the way they planned. 

ESTJs tend to follow traditions. They believe that laws are created for the well-being of society and everybody should be committed to general principles. Also, they have amazing leading skills and that’s probably why they are called the Directors or Supervisors. At work, they are extremely responsible and self-confident. Sometimes people hate their bossy attitude and consider ESTJs as rigid leaders.


ESTP: The Adventurer

ESTPs can’t live without risks. They adore trying new activities even if they can be dangerous for their health or career. The reason is that they need excitement to feel happiness. As a result, even if they fail, they feel satisfied. However, it’s only before they lose interest. In fact, ESTPs are in constant search of new adventures and can’t stick to the same routine every day. They easily get bored of usual activities that can seem thrilling to other people. Considering this, it’s no wonder they are called the Adventurers.

Although ESTPs are extroverted, they prefer to spend time with a few of their friends. They are very pragmatic and don’t like getting at the center of attention. Besides, they are Thinkers (T) and don’t focus on emotions, but surprisingly, they frequently dramatize everything. ESTPs like living in the present moment and prefer to receive pleasure from here-and-now instead of worrying about the future. 

ESTJ vs ESTP – Comparison

Considering the similar personality traits of ESTJ vs ESTP, these two personalities don’t differ from each other very much. However, by comparing their leadership styles, romantic attitudes, and main values you’ll find out that they are very different from each other. This results specifically in their relationship. 

Leadership Styles

  • ESTJs are committed leaders. They try hard to help the team grow and develop both personally and professionally. They value justice and tend to create fair rules. They always make efficient decisions and organize the team to get the job done quickly. Sometimes employees dislike their strict attitude and fear of ESTJ leaders. 
  • ESTPs’ leadership style is completely different from ESTPs’.  They are flexible and adaptable leaders, focused on the well-being of their team members. Even though they have a mild attitude, they manage to get the work done and achieve success. They are situational leaders and act according to the current challenges. 

Romantic Attitudes

  • Relationships are very valuable for ESTJs. Even though they don’t seem like romantic people, they take relationships very seriously and try hard to express warmth to make their partners feel loved. However, they are not very good at expressing feelings. Since they are committed to traditions, ESTJs prefer traditional gender roles and long-term relationships. 
  • ESTPs are very flirtatious. They don’t consider relationships something important and usually prefer to have fun. As a result, they don’t have long-term relationships and often change partners. They are in search of somebody who will take part in adventures with them. 

Main Values

  • Needless to say that order is the main value for ESTJs. They enjoy planning things ahead in order to avoid failures and achieve their goals. In people, they value confidence, responsibility, and the ability to follow things in logical order. Traditions are also very important to them. 
  • ESTPs value challenges. They enjoy taking risks and having adventures. Since relationships are not very important to them, they don’t mind getting new experiences all alone. They never run away from danger, especially if it’s vital for the people they care about. 

Relationship Between ESTJ & ESTP

ESTJs and ESTPs usually get along. Since they share many characteristics, personality traits, and attitudes, they tend to be compatible in relationships as well. However, they have different preferences while dating. 

In fact, ESTJs prefer traditional relationships while ESTPs are not very committed partners. But at the beginning of the relationship, ESTPs usually neglect ESTJs’ requirements, while ESTJs don’t know anything about their partner’s future goals. Therefore, their relationship can start ideally but soon they realize that it’s time to break up. Usually, both ESTJs and ESTPs are mature people and end their relationship without any trouble. They remain either friends or good acquaintances. 

However, their relationship can’t last for long either as friends. The reason is simple – ESTJs can’t live without having everything planned in advance. But ESTPs are spontaneous. They adore taking risks which is unimaginable if you plan your activities. As a result, they easily get bored of each other. Sometimes, they end up arguing and using their analytical skills to prove they’re right. Without consensus, their relationship is doomed to end.

Final Words

After comparing the key characteristics of ESTJ vs ESTP, let’s say that they have so many things in common but still can’t get along as romantic partners. Therefore, making a decision based on the fact that two personalities share basic personality traits is not right. It’s better to compare their attitudes towards relationships, their everyday habits, and plans in order to say how compatible they can be. 

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