People often wonder if personalities with two similar traits have a chance of getting along well. The answer is positive, they can but chances are not very high that they can fall in love and build a long-lasting relationship. Sometimes having two major personality functions in common is enough for falling deeply in love but generally, the problem is that the second person doesn’t respond the same way. That’s exactly what happens between ESFJs and ESTPs.

ESFJs and ESTPs are both Extraverted (E) and Sensing (S) personalities but they are different in other major personality characteristics. In fact, ESFJ is a Feeling (F) and Judging (J) type, meaning that they base their decisions on their emotions and try to understand others’ feelings as well. Besides, they want everything to be clear and concise and hate ambiguity and risks. On the contrary, ESTPs are Thinking (T) and Perceiving (P) personalities. They always think twice before making decisions but tend to be very flexible and adaptable.

As a result of these differences between ESFJ vs ESTP, they are easily attracted to each other but still, it’s hard to find ESFJ and ESTP couples who have a healthy and stable relationship. In this article, we will compare those two personality types and see how well they can get along.


An Overview Of ESFJ: The Caregiver

ESFJs are often called the Caregivers. Considering that taking care of others is the main motivation of their lives, they actually deserve that nickname. They are usually described as warm and outgoing people who enjoy spending time with others and meeting their needs. Sometimes they behave altruistically and put others’ needs in front of their own. They usually follow traditions and have a strong moral which explains their dedication to help others.

On the other hand, ESFJs enjoy controlling others. They are not very flexible and like when everything is perfectly ordered. ESFJs hardly make impulsive decisions but they often act according to their feelings and inner condition. Sometimes they seek attention and want to be liked by people whom they care about. Due to their need for organization, ESFJs hate changes. In fact, even a small change in the environment can make them feel anxious. 


An Overview Of ESTP: The Persuader

ESTPs are also known as the Persuaders. That’s mainly because of their strong social skills and ability to charm people, making them fall in love instantly after meeting and talking to them. ESTPs are charismatic people who never lack attention from others. They enjoy being around others and easily manage to get at the center of attention. The reason is that they quickly notice small details in the environment and consequently, get at the top of the team.

ESTPs never hesitate to make decisions. They usually act impulsively but don’t worry whether their decision will be right or wrong. As a result, most times they seem quite careless. They hate spending time planning things and believe that spontaneous decisions are much more interesting. Also, they are practical and straightforward people who can take risks effortlessly. They easily get bored and are always in search of excitement. 

ESFJ vs ESTP: Comparison Of The Personality Types

ESFJs and ESTPs are quite different, yet similar at the same time. Apparently, they may seem quite different from each other but deep down they have similar opinions on plenty of things. Let’s discuss the differences between ESFJ vs ESTP and see what they think about romance, what their core values are, and whether they can be effective leaders.

Core Values

  • ESFJs value cooperation and kindness. They always try to impress others with their generous behaviors. ESFJs also value harmony and family. Taking care of the members of their family is a priority for them. But also, they want to live in a peaceful community and try hard to improve society’s well-being as well.
  • ESTPs value adventure. They’re in constant search of new experiences and have a strong desire to get to know the hidden purpose of the world. They are fearless people who never hesitate to face dangers and take risks. Personal growth is very important for them as well.


  • ESFJs are more followers than leaders. Being in a leadership position is not natural for them. However, when they get the chance of leading the team, they prove that they can be efficient leaders. They always put the needs of the team members in front of their own and take care of each member’s opinion. Making a friendly and healthy working atmosphere is another advantage of ESFJ leaders.
  • Considering ESTPs are people of rare charisma, they can easily become leaders and manage the team. ESTP leaders have an excellent vision that can be used for achieving the team’s goals. Their creative abilities often inspire the members of the team. 


  • ESFJs like authentic people who can share their unique ideas with them. In order to be liked by ESFJ, you must be a passionate person with an original vision of the world. They are drawn to talent and creativity and easily fall in love with people of these qualities. Aso, they can maintain the relationship for a long time.
  • Since ESTPs are very confident people themselves, they are attracted to confidence and self-assurance in others as well. They like people who are as energetic as they are. Therefore, if you consider yourself a charismatic and charming person, then chances are high that an ESTP will like you and maybe even fall in love with you. 

Compatibility of ESFJ and ESTP

As you can see, ESFJs and ESTPs have different preferences and different values. Therefore, their relationships look different as well. While ESTPs are looking for partners who will take part in hazardous activities with them, ESFJs prefer more valuable relationships with deep feelings involved. Consequently, they are far from being a perfect match.

However, people with these two personality types often attract each other. In the beginning, they believe that their relationships can be ideal but as time goes by they notice that their bond gets weaker. That’s why we can’t say that ESFJ and ESTP are compatible with romantic relationships.


In the end, we can say that both ESFJs and ESTPs are very interesting personalities. Both of them can love very deeply and passionately but an ESFJ & ESTP relationship doesn’t work very well. Too many differences in the thinking and behaving patterns of ESFJ vs ESTP make it almost impossible for them to get involved in a stable and long-lasting relationship.